


GOOOOOOOOAL!

by AgentP (pockmarkedplanet)



Category: Phineas and Ferb
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-02-12
Updated: 2011-02-12
Packaged: 2020-07-21 08:27:22
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,087
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19998901
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pockmarkedplanet/pseuds/AgentP
Summary: The Danville Middle hockey team's first game. Dill and Jumbo reappear. Doofenshmirtz tries to take over all unoccupied hockey rinks in Danville.





	GOOOOOOOOAL!

**Author's Note:**

> Originally posted on 12 February 2011 on the PF Fanon Wiki.

(Phineas and Ferb are in their backyard)

Phineas: I wonder what to do today...

(Ferb holds up his hand, as if to answer a question)

Phineas: Ferb, I know what we're gonna do today!

(Ferb sighs)

Phineas: We have a hockey game later today, but we need to get something done first. We're gonna build a pocket-sized computer that can expand to 10 times that size!

(Peter and Pete walk in)

Phineas: Hey Peter. Hey Pete.

Peter: Can you do something for me?

Phineas: Maybe.

(Inside the house)

Mom: Candace, you're in charge under the condition that I have a green pen in my left hand right now.

Candace: Open your left hand.

(Mom does so, and has a red pen in her left hand)

Candace: So that means I'm not in charge?

Mom: The only other way you are in charge is if you are able to defeat Stacy in that wrestling video game.

Candace: When?

Mom: Right now.

(Stacy walks in)

Candace: I CHALLENGE YOU TO A WRESTLING GAME!

Stacy: O...kay?

(Candace and Stacy play the game)

Candace: Yes! I'm winning by a lot!

Stacy: Power up time!

Candace: Oh, I forgot this was the power up version!

(Stacy uses a power up)

Stacy: Ha! Now you're only winning by 12!

Candace: Yeah, but I'm still WINNING!

Stacy: Not when I do this! (She virtually hits Candace)

Candace: Oh great.

(Candace's character falls on the ground and its health bar drops to zero)

Mom: Sorry, Candace, but you lost so you're not in charge.

(Backyard)

Phineas: Hey, where's Perry?

(Perry enters his lair. He just walks in a side door of a building.)

MM: Doofenshmirtz has been buying hockey equipment. This must be evil...somehow. Go stop him!

(Perry leaves the same way, walks to DEI, and enters the front door there.)

Doof: At least now, you have the decency to walk in the front door. Now let me trap you!

Perry: Gyurururu...

(Doof releases a trap the size of the room, excluding his inator which is still covered in a remote corner)

Doof: Oops. Now we're...both...trapped.

(Dill and Jumbo fly in)

Dill: Yes, yes you are.

(Dill cuts a hole through the net)

(Perry exits the trap)

(Doof runs toward the hole)

(Dill puts a giant brick wall in place of the hole)

(Doof runs into it and gets a mild concussion)

(Jumbo is amused)

Dill: Let's go now.

(Dill and Perry fly off in Jumbo)

Doof: ...Ouch...

(Backyard)

Phineas: What is that?

Peter: Looks like Jumbo.

Phineas: Yes, yes it does.

(Jumbo lands safely and Dill and Perry exit)

Phineas: Oh, there you are Perry.

(DEI)

Doof: Oh great. Now I have to work my way out of this-wait, the -inator is right over there through this hand-sized hole!

(Doof sticks his hand through the hole and hits a random button)

(Perry enters and hits the self-destruct button, then leaves)

Doof: ...What did he just do?

(Backyard)

Phineas: Peter, didn't you want us to do something?

Peter: Yeah, it was to make my iPod touch bigger.

Dill: You mean, like an iPad?

Peter: Um, yes. Why?

Dill: I just so happen to have one preloaded with five paid apps of your choice!

Peter: OK! I want Baseball Superstars 2011, Madden NFL 11, Airport Mania, and...just surprise me with the others.

(Dill hands Peter an iPad)

(Doof's face appears on the screen)

Peter: What the heck?

Doof: A-ha-ha! Now I will use my control over this...whatever this is...to rule the Tri-State Area!

Peter: No you won't!

(Isabella walks in)

Isabella: Whatcha doin'?

Peter: Saving the Tri-State Area from this guy.

Isabella: Again _?_

_Phineas: Yes, yes we are._

_(Ferb nods)_

_Isabella: Ferb. _Still a man of few words, I see?__

__Pete: And who are you?_ _

__Isabella: Who, me?_ _

__Pete: Yes, you._ _

__Isabella: I'm Isabella Garcia-Shapiro._ _

__Pete: Ah. I'm Pete Grossman. I'm new here. I just moved here from Boston._ _

__Peter: Wait, when's that hockey game again?_ _

__Pete: In five-holy cheeseburgers, it's in five minutes!_ _

__Peter: Where are we playing?_ _

__Pete: Um...I have no idea._ _

__Peter: Goody. Now we have to find where we're playing and then get there._ _

__Phineas: We're playing at the old movie theater. They took out all the seats and we're playing on concrete._ _

__Doof: Not if I get there first!_ _

__(Doof arrives at the wrong old movie theater)_ _

__Peter: Where's the ref?_ _

__(Doof arrives)_ _

__Doof: He's, um, busy. So I will be filling in._ _

__Peter: Aren't you the German scientist who tried to control that iPad?_ _

__Doof: Yes, yes I am._ _

__(Norm comes in)_ _

__Norm: Whatcha' doin?_ _

__(Phineas and Isabella feel disturbances in the universe)_ _

__(Someone says "help!" but is obviously muffled)_ _

__Peter: What was that?_ _

__Phineas: I have NO idea._ _

__(Pete points to the visitors penalty box)_ _

__Peter: Um, what is it?_ _

__Pete: The...the sound came from there._ _

__Peter: How do you know?_ _

__Pete: Because I looked and there is a guy with a blindfold over his mouth._ _

__Peter: That makes sense._ _

__(Peter, Phineas, and Ferb look and there is a guy who is obviously the ref with a blindfold over his mouth)_ _

__Pete: I told you._ _

__(They spend the next 6 minutes and 22 seconds [AN: and 67 milliseconds by Baljeet's calculations] untrapping him.)_ _

__Ref: Thanks guys...whoever you are._ _

__Peter: We're the Danville Middle Team A._ _

__Ref: Okay._ _

__Jeremy: Let's take roll...Phineas!_ _

__Phineas: Here!_ _

__Jeremy: Ferb!_ _

__(Ferb waves)_ _

__Jeremy: Peter!_ _

__Peter: Here!_ _

__Jeremy: Pete._ _

__Pete: Yes?_ _

__Jeremy: You're starting at defenseman today, Buford got injured._ _

__Pete: OK, coach._ _

__Jeremy: And our last player, Baljeet!_ _

__Baljeet: Did I get an A?_ _

__Jeremy: You will if you play good. Now go out there and beat the B team!_ _

__[AN: the B team is the Ballpit Kid, Pedro, Django, and Irving, and the coach is Coltrane.]_ _

__(Baljeet is confused and immediately starts calculating trajectories)_ _

__Peter: What are you doing?_ _

__Baljeet: Calculating the trajectory of the puck if it is shot by each player from different angles._ _

__(Peter facepalms)_ _

__(One embarrassing puck to the face later)_ _

__Jeremy: Phineas, get in there for Baljeet!_ _

__(Baljeet comes off, and starts doing calculus homework)_ _

__(Jeremy facepalms)_ _

__(Irving goes over and sees that Phineas is in the game, and immediately starts stalking him)_ _

__Phineas: Odd...I feel someone breathing on me._ _

__(Irving jumps on Phineas and starts pulling on various things to put in his scrapbook)_ _

__Ref: Um, that's a penalty for the rest of the game. Creepy Stalking._ _

__(The A team wins)_ _

__The end, I guess._ _

**Author's Note:**

> RATING: 2 stars  
> Comment: Hilarious. But yet again, I find this story's plot pretty pointless. Yes it is random, I get where you are going, but not really that interesting... just something to laugh about. I love the Baljeet part, FYI.  
> By FadhilPF


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